15 March 2007
Listening to No Time to Explain by Blood or Whiskey (pure Irish goodness)
Good news, everyone! Maj Apple has returned with a new posting. All you fans can just skip all this boring stuff and dive right down and read his first. For those of you who like to read top to bottom, there’s going to be a lot. I have so much to write about I think my hands will fall off before the night is through. Time to play some energetic music, I’m going to be flying.
Let’s start with dinner last night. Mike, Drew, and I were sitting around the table talking after dinner. I’ve grown to really enjoy our times of talking. For those of you who don’t know me, I usually enjoy taking a book or magazine to a meal, and reading while I eat. I’ve never been much of a socialite. But Rat, Mike, drew and I have become pretty close through shared hardships. Even though we might never have become friends back home because of very different interests, as well as my introversion, here we truly have become like brothers. For me, this is most unusual, as I don’t have a lot of really close friends. However, not only do I feel free to share things with them knowing it stays between us, I also know I could trust any of them completely, and if we ever found ourselves in combat, I know they would fight with me. The staggering feeling of total trust and confidence in these men is sometimes overwhelming. I think it is hard to fully explain this to someone who hasn’t been deployed. Not to say we don’t all have close, trustworthy friends, but we were total strangers when we met, and now I know these guys better than I know anyone outside of my family. Even more, we all get along. Some huts have guys starting to get on each other’s nerves, but as far as I can tell, the four of us are still getting along great, and becoming closer as time goes on. Whether it is God, Karma, luck, or random chance, I have had a series of great experiences in what could have been a hellish experience. Having great hut mates has helped immensely. And since they will probably read this, Thanks Guys!
Danny, my Romanian friend, came by the hut, and we had a chance to have a nice long conversation about a million different things. I mentioned I missed my wife, my kids, my dogs, and he interrupted. “Your dogs?” he asked, and I naturally had to show him my famous ten-dogs-on-couch photo (only five are mine).
This led to me showing him photos of my family, home, etc. He is a big photo hound too, and won second place in a photo contest here. I’ve asked him to give me some photos for posting here, and to try his hand at writing something. So hopefully we’ll be having our first Romanian staff member soon.
Danny’s real name is Constantine Barcan, but he says if I ever call him Constantine, he will feel the need to pull out a cross and hunt vampires (a reference to the movie Constantine). He has been in the Army for nine years, and loves being an armored platoon leader. However, his military is downsizing, and if they ever try to take him out of tanks, he will resign. Tanks are all he wants to do. If he had a job like mine, he says he would go crazy. It was really nice to visit with him, and hopefully he’ll be a contributor to AWAC.
Today I returned to work, and Han and I spent a good deal of the day with contractors at CMA. As we supervised them while they worked, we had a chance to talk. He said he was reading AWAC the other night and burst out laughing. His family rushed into the room wondering what was so funny. They were hoping there was a funny photo, but he had to explain it was just the writing.
I wanted to talk some more about the national identity question. Do Afghans have a sense of national pride and identity? This can be a hard concept to explain, but I did my best, and Han understood what I was talking about. In his estimation, about 90% of Afghans think of themselves as Afghans first and have a sense of pride in their nation, while tribal identity would come second. Later on at lunch I asked Hamid the same question, and he estimated that 80% had a strong sense of national identity. I know Wali is also fiercely nationalistic and loves his country. Clearly this is not a scientific survey, but I wonder if maybe we are missing something here. As I mentioned before, we are briefed that there is a very weak national identity here, yet in my dealings with Afghans, I have not found this to be true. Admittedly, I deal with literate, educated Afghans, and even Han said that among the uneducated Afghans, tribal loyalties are more important. Their concerns are earning money, getting food, and survival. Some don’t even know they live in Afghanistan. However, he feels this is a small number of people.
Han also offered his views on some of the things I had written after conversations with Wali and Hamid. Han wanted to elaborate on the discussion on the importance of children in this country.
“In American, you have things like social security to take care of the elderly, and children do not have to take care of their parents. However, in Afghanistan there is nothing like that. People must have children for support in their old age. Otherwise, they have nothing. We have a saying here ‘The parent holds the child’s hand when he is young; the child holds the parent’s hand when the parent is old.’”
“I understand that,” I agreed. “Even though it’s not usually that way in America, I do understand why you need children to support you when you are old. But to hate your wife or mistreat her if she can’t have children, surely you don’t agree with that.”
Han shook his head quickly and waved his hand. “Oh course not. That would never be acceptable. I would never hurt my wife if she couldn’t have children. I agree that should never happen, though it does.”
“And what Hamid said about people selling their daughters to older men for marriage, that is true, isn’t it? I heard about that before I came over here.”
Han nodded. “Yes, though you shouldn’t say ‘selling.’”
“More like a dowry, right?” I added.
“Yes, but it is true that these girls go into marriages against their will, and they are sometimes abused, and their lives are so sad and without hope that many kill themselves by setting themselves on fire.”
Han also said that Pakistan doesn’t hate Afghanistan. Rather, their motivations are political. However, it is true that Pakistan doesn’t want Afghanistan to grow powerful, not out of hatred, but simple political expediency.
A bit off topic, he also said that when he read about my conversations with Hamid, it was obvious that I cared for him. I’m glad that came through, even though English is a second language for Han.
Han said he would loan me some Afghan movies with English subtitles that would help me get an idea of what life is like here. I am looking forward to watching them. Han is very happy that I am writing about his culture, and wants to provide me information on all aspects of life here. It is an exciting dynamic we have going. I want to write, and I want to help improve this country. Don’t know how much good AWAC will do, but I’ll be pouring my soul into it the next two months. Han also promises to keep writing me after I get home, so I can continue to keep tabs both on life here, as well as how CMA is doing.
At lunch Hamid and I ate with Drew, and as usual we had a nice chat afterwards. Han had been telling Hamid about my blog.
“Sir, how did Han find your blog?” he asked.
“He found it by googling CMA, and he saw my blog.”
“Is it true you write about our conversations?”
“Hamid, you know I do. I’ve been telling you that for months.”
Hamid began asking me what I wrote about, and seemed very happy that I would discuss their beliefs and culture in such detail. The only thing he did not like was when I said he ate like a camel, so I will be retracting that. Hamid is not like a camel, and I will remove all mention of it from previous posts. He is my friend, and I would never do something to hurt him. He, like Han, is very excited about my blog, because he finally understands just what it is.
“So, anyone in the world can read your blog?” he asked.
“Yes, but it’s a little harder than that. You have to know where to look.”
“So who reads it?”
“First it was my family and friends, but slowly more and more people read it. I have people in many different countries that read it now.”
“Do you think people think badly about me because you wrote about me asking for stuff.”
“I hope not, because I also explained that in your culture, it is OK to ask a friend for things. True, it is not like that in America, but the point of my blog is to educate Americans on our cultural differences. Do you feel shame when you ask for stuff from me?”
“No.”
“And it doesn’t offend me either. I understand it is your culture. If I don’t want to give you something, I feel free to tell you. But by writing about it, Americans can learn about it and understand it. You see, when I write, you represent Afghanistan, and I represent America. Our worlds are very different, and when we talk, we both learn so much about each other, and thus about our countries. But always, no matter what we talk about, we part friends. Perhaps the same will be true of our countries”
“Yes, that is true.”
I looked across at my friend, and felt a camaraderie and a sadness. I wished I could help him out more. I wished I could help him immigrate. I wish I could find him a wife. I wish I could accompany Hamid to his home for a meal, meet his family, and experience what he does outside of work. I have only two months left to write first-hand about life here, can our simple conversations have an impact in the bigger scheme of things? As Han might warn, “One flower doesn’t make spring.”
“Hamid, I love having these conversations at lunch. Not only do I have things to write about, but I learn so much. I want Americans to learn it too.”
Hamid smiled. “I love them too. Each night I try to think about what we can talk about the next day. I think in English now, not Dari. There is so much I want to tell you, so you can write it down. I will bring you much good information.”
“I look forward to it. I want to learn as much as possible, and share it with as many as possible.”
Hamid was extremely pleased. “Good. I want Americans to learn too.”
As we walked out of the chow hall, Hamid said he was determined to learn how to use the internet and e-mail to keep in touch when I went home. That would be wonderful. I hope I will be able to keep in touch with Hamid, Han, Wali, and maybe some of the guys who replace us.
Remember yesterday’s quote of the day? “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” It is attributed to Admiral Yamamoto after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Several quote guessers commented that this is what we need while fighting terrorism. And as corny as it may sound, I feel filled with a terrible resolve to make AWAC a part of the fight, as well as a means to improving the situation here. I know, big dreams and an overblown sense of my importance. But without dreams, what are we?
Whew. My hands are still attached, but the wrists are sore. Need to take a break. I think I just typed for two hours straight, no pauses. Ouch.
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Blog Watch
MSgt Chris Dunham (son of long-time AWAC reader Chief Jerry Dunham) is at Fort Riley, training to be a mentor over here for a year, just like our group. He has started up a blog, Air Force Afghanistan Mentor. Check it out and send him encouragement; he’s where I was almost a year ago. I know how he feels.
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Care Packages
One more box from Soldier’s Angels. T-Shirts for the gang from VAJoes.com. Thanks again everyone!
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The William Arkin Obscene Amenity of the Day
Named for William Arkin, the blogger who thinks the military is made up of mercenaries, OR EVEN WORSE, that have an obscene quantity of amenities being shipped to them. If the Washington Post is willing to pay him, maybe they’ll pay me too! Fair and balanced, right? Oops, that’s Fox News’ line.
Sorry gang, but the brain is fried. The obscene amenity gets a day off. Sorry, Bill.
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Five Seconds of Fame
Yesterday’s quote, “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve” is from Tora, Tora, Tora, the movie about the attack on Pearl Harbor. It is attributed to Admiral Yamamoto, though there is no proof he said it. It would have been a good line for Osama bin Laden. Bet he never expected the response he got.
Today’s winners are:
Chief Jerry Dunham
Dana Schwartz
Chris Manteuffel
Matti
Jed Black
Matthew Gauthier
Ralph Gulko
Lorrie Cramer
Lorian Maddox (who sent a photo of her son, below)
Remember, you too can be famous. Just identify the quote and send me an e-mail. You can also send a photo of your choice to be posted.
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Quote of the Day:
“What is this man doing here!?” (yelled repeatedly)
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“Doctor, I think he overdosed on great days.”
“Get the stomach pump.”
- Bear
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And back after far too long an absence, here’s Maj Apple -
Everything I needed to know about Afghanistan, I learned before I got here.....
I've been here in Afghanistan for almost 9 months now. I've been on mid-tour leave, and had a wonderful time. While I had the opportunity for downtime, I began to think about the success that I've had mentoring the Afghans, and tried to analyze why my team is making headway, where others may not. I came to this conclusion. My life experience from childhood to now prepared me for the challenges of mentoring people from a different culture.
My parents ingrained in me a work ethic and loyalty that has stuck with me my entire life. Work hard, do your best, never give up. I grew up watching my Mom and Pop do whatever they had to for their family. Seeing my Pop work ridiculously long hours to provide for me made a lasting impression. I see people today willing to give up because they think that a job is beneath them. Not my Pop! He'd do any job no matter how big or small to see to the needs of his family. My Mom worked outside the home too; because she had to (I'm not so sure she wanted to). She went to work every day, and still was a Mom. What a tough balancing act. I mentioned loyalty too. If they weren't loyal to us, and each other, how could they have done these things? I doubt I could have had better role models for the success I've had.
My Grandparents taught me to be honest in everything I do or say, and to be fiercely proud of my family name. All you come into this world with is your name, and that's all you leave with too. Of course, I'm talking about your family name. If you don't live up to it, you damage everyone in your family. My Grandma Nancy caught me in a lie when I was a little one. "Did you brush your teeth?" "Yep" "Let's see." Well, of course I hadn't, I just wanted the 25 cents she was going to reward me with. She didn't yell, she didn't spank, and she used the event as a "teachable moment" in my life. I'll never forget that lecture, and I strive every day to live up to it. Both my Grandpas taught me the value of being your own man, and that your word was your bond. Again, I keep this with me always.
The Air Force taught me how to follow, and how to lead. One without the other is useless. Only the best followers can make good leaders. Care about, and take care of your people, and they will take care of the mission, and you. I owe a debt to everyone that I've ever followed, or worked with, and everyone I've ever led. I wouldn't be here today, if it weren't for them. I still think that becoming a 2d Lt was the greatest professional achievement I've ever had. Everything else is gravy. When I was out making a name for myself, the folks in the shop took up the slack, not out of any special loyalty or obligation to me, but because it was the right thing to do, and it was out of loyalty to the Air Force. I owe them everything!
I also learned a very valuable lesson from my first Commander when I was a 2d Lt. Col (then Major) Roger Brooks sat me down one day in his office, and said "Lieutenant, just because we're officers, we're not better, we're different." Talk about shifting paradigms. I think from that moment on, I stopped taking myself so seriously, and realized that the responsibility I had was so much bigger than me. It showed me that I was there for my people, not the other way around. I was the servant, THEY were my mission. In the Air Force, we grow people that know their job inside and out, I don't need to tell them how to do the job, just establish a direction, and stand back. I can't remember who to quote, but one of the best examples of leadership is (and I'm paraphrasing), "At the end of the day, the true test of your leadership is that your people look at what they accomplished, and say; "We did this ourselves."" A leader never drives people; they set them up for success.
Another valuable lesson came from Major General (then Col) Wendell Griffin, when he was the 7th Bomb Wing Commander at Dyess. Every time he spoke, he always mentioned; Mission, People, Safety. You might be shooting the breeze, but those themes always came out. Why is this important? An organization takes on the personality of its leader, and every leader in that Wing also stayed on that theme. It is amazing how much power a consistent message has, and I get amazing mileage because of that lesson.
I worked as an Executive Officer at Air Force Special Operations Command for Col (now retired) Paul Valovcin. I told him then, and I'll say it again now, that if you look in the dictionary under "integrity" you'll find his picture. The man is a walking definition of the word, and I strive to emulate him. He is a Senior Officer that understands his responsibility, authority, and most importantly the impact he has. As an example, here's how things sometimes work in the military:
The Colonel says, "Wouldn't it be nice if we had new carpet in the hallway?"
The Major says, "The Colonel wants new carpet."
The Lieutenant says, "Sergeant, get the Colonel new carpet, NOW!"
The Sergeant says, "Airman, the Colonel said that your career ends today if you don't get him new carpet!"
Colonel Valovcin probably understood the impact of his words, and his actions better than any other Officer I've known in 20 years of service. He walks the talk, and is consistent in everything he does. You are never surprised by him. Also, as an Exec, I saw him during his personal time in his office, and when problems confronted him (these are telling times, because no one else is watching). He never wavered, and never faltered. He has 100% consistency and integrity, 100% of the time. I only wish I could be like that.
While I was an Exec, I learned an important lesson from the deputy, Mr. (Colonel (ret)) Skip Haller. Much like an athlete, he gave it everything he had, and left it on the field. He always beat me to the office, and gave everything he had, all day, every day. That's a concept I understand, but what many people don't see is that he plays as hard as he works! How many of us can do that. It's a skill I'm trying to build, and I've come a long way. For years, I'd never had a real hobby, now I ride my motorcycle, and play with our boat. Being able to see Skip and Diane (his wife and best friend) enjoy the rewards of their hard work made me realize I wasn't doing the same. I've never felt more at ease, and more liberated. Over here, I enjoy watching movies, and giving myself downtime. If it weren't for Skip's example, I don't know that this year would have been as fun.
Finally, before I got here, I learned a valuable lesson from my wife. Mary Ann is the foundation of my success. I've never had a better friend, or mentor. Just watching her as a Commander taught me that I never have to get angry, or yell. When your people see you are disappointed in what they've done, they'll kill themselves to make you happy. They'll always try to do the right thing, so they don't let you down. Do you know how much energy it takes to get mad at someone? I can guarantee you that it takes three times as much energy than just communicating a clear message to your people (shades of Maj Gen Griffin), and getting out of their way. Also, she's helped me learn to stop and smell the roses. She's the main reason I've had success here.
You're probably asking yourself, "What does any of this have to do with Afghanistan?" I'll tell you. Everything I've learned in life is applicable to an Afghan. They understand and respond to: Hard work, Loyalty, Family, Truthfulness, Integrity, Fun, Consistency, and everything else I've talked about. If you can forget about what makes us different, and concentrate on what makes us the same, the sky is the limit here. Don't make the mistake, however, of believing that they're motivated the same way we are. But by the same token, don't make the mistake of thinking that they don't value the things we do. I guess what I'm really saying, is "Be true to whom you are, and the Afghans will be true to you!"
For those of you that were wondering....
On 12 February, I arrived in Orlando to start my leave. The first thing I did after checking in to my Hotel, was to go to Hooters. As it was not very crowded (only 2 people), I walked up to them, and made my announcement. In the photograph, the kind gentlemen was saying, "NOOOO please don't kiss me, kiss him!"
Anyway, a good time was had by all....'cept the Hooter Girls didn't give me any hugs. Doggonit! There must be some rule against it, 'cuz I know they could barely control themselves. :)
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Here’s Rat -
Well, it’s Thursday again and that means the Afghans go home at noon. It also means another dart tournament, and just like last week it was a barnburner. I chose to throw my hat in the ring today and yes I got my rear end spanked. I did manage to win at least rounds before being eliminated. I restrained from talking trash though, knowing that I
couldn't back it up. I did have the advantage of being an unknown, so I had them shaking in their boots until I threw my first darts. Then the cat was out of the bag, and they all turned on me and I couldn't buy a friend. Man these guys are a tough crowd.
The other big subject of the day is the NCAA basketball tournament. Folks will be staying up late to catch some of the games. They all have their picks, and all day they have been justifying why they think they are smarter than the next. To say these guys are competitive is like saying dynamite just goes bang. I, however, have no idea which team is where in the standings since 1. I don't watch basketball and 2. I have a handicap when it comes to sports statistics. I have spent so much time overseas, I have lost track of who has done what. Besides I'm a NASCAR fan and that's about all I keep track of. When I came home last spring from yet another deployment, that one was only 6 months, my beautiful wife treated me to a weekend of grease, oil, exhaust fumes, and load noise as I had the complete package at Texas Motor Speedway to include the Busch race on Saturday and the Nextel Cup race on Sunday followed by dinner and champagne with the winner. I had the time of my life, all the while she spent the days shopping in Dallas and visiting friends. Have I said my wife is the greatest? I cannot wait to get back to her and my equally beautiful daughter, Taylor.
The weather here has gotten better over the last couple of days, which means that we have had to raise our bad guy radar back up. The mortars have already been falling on some of the other camps south of here. I knew it was too good to be true. Winter is over, and this spring and summer could prove to be a fight. Rest assured I will be careful and always on the lookout. What may seem horrifying to most has become somewhat normal to us now. Just 2 more months and it is all just a memory...some good and some not so good, but Afghanistan has left a mark on me that I will not soon forget. We have come along way since we got here a year ago, and I can only leave it in the hands of my replacement and the Afghans, but I am hopeful they will triumph and learn the
freedom we often take for granted. I for one will not make that mistake again...that's the only thing I'll be betting on this weekend.
Capt Douglas Templeton, still lost in Gardez. dtempleton14@yahoo.com
Lots of good food for thought here today gentlemen along with points more people should read and take to heart. I'm in a hurry to get packed and off to DC for the weekend so I'll cut this short (cheers from many...)
Bear - again your sharing of dialogue between you and Han as well as you and Hamid was fascinating. Hopefully more will read your exchanges and begin to open their minds to many of the issues in Afghanistan other than war.
As for your statement, "And as corny as it may sound, I feel filled with a terrible resolve to make AWAC a part of the fight, as well as a means to improving the situation here. I know, big dreams and an overblown sense of my importance. But without dreams, what are we?" I really don't think you have a "clue" how important your posts really are toward that end. (Improving the situation there). I daresay less than 1% of the population of our country has a "clue" as to the issues in Afghanistan. Most just probably sit back and think it is a war we engaged in because we could. I'll stop there or I'll be typing for 2 hours.
MAJ Apple - Huge Kudos to your mom, dad and grandparents. Refreshing! Very refreshing to know there are still families out there where the family name MEANS something and the generations are taught to honor and hold that dear. That's the way I was raised and boy has it made me stop on many occassions before I jumped off in to something I later realized I should not have. NO "village" out there can or should be raising our children. FAMILY! That's were the raising should be.
Ratman - glad you are still safe in Gardez. Sorry to hear the weather is improving as that's not usually such a good sign as you ponted out. Stay safe and hurry back to the hut. heck I don't even live there and I miss you! :) Thanks for sharing the comments about your great family. AH!!!!!! Family. What a wonderful thing to have, nurture and enjoy.
Since Odie didn't get his post in on time I'll close my comment like he might - Cheers!
Posted by: Leta | March 15, 2007 at 08:37 PM