Love is in the Air

26 Feb 07

20,000 Hits!!!!

Rocking to The Mystery of Santa Domingo de Silos (Gregorian Chants)

Here's my other dog.  He was sitting here in my office when I came back from R&R leave

     My old pal Maj Atabar did it again.  My wife told me that she was awakened at 2 AM in the morning by a phone call.

     “Hello,” she murmured.

     “Helloooo, Mashore Appeel.”

     “What?”

     “Mashore Appeel.”

     It finally dawned on her that he was saying “Major Apple.”

     “NO! CAPTAIN TRAVERSA!”

     “Mumble.” Click.

     She took it surprisingly well.  No orders to smack Atabar about the head or jab him with his own shock pen.  She was certainly more magnanimous about it than I would have been.  I’ve told him several times that if he ever wakes me up n the middle of the night, I’ll change my phone number.

     Yesterday as I roamed around CMA doing inspections and checking on building progress, I was able to have a long chat with Wali, and later with Han.  I wanted to see what their perspectives were on some of the subjects Hamid and I talked about last week.  I asked Wali about children, and whether it was a shame for a couple not to have kids.

     “Yes, it is very important for a couple to have children.  If they can’t, then they both go to a doctor to see if either has a medical problem.  If the wife has a problem, then the husband may marry again so that his second wife may bear him children.  However, it is not fair to the woman.  If the man has the problem, she is not allowed to have a second husband.  It is not fair to her.  She should be able to have children.”

     Although a devout Muslim, Wali sometimes expresses more progressive views like this.  However, never doubt his devotion to Islam.  That is very evident from discussions with him.

     I nodded.  “Sure, if it’s so important, why shouldn’t she have the same rights as a man?”

     Wali replied. “Many things that seem unfair are because of our culture, not because of Islam.”  This reminded me of Hamid’s protestations earlier.  Bad things came from Afghanistan, not Islam.

     “Hamid told me that it was important that you have children so they could pray for you when you are dead.  Why is that?”

     “When you die, you are met by two angels.  They ask you who you worshipped on Earth, and who was your prophet.  Then you stay in the grave until Judgment Day.  Once God judges you, you will be punished to pay for your sins.  However, if people pray for you and do good deeds for you, your punishment will be lessened.”

     “So it is like purgatory that the Catholics believe in?” I asked.

     “Yes.”

     “How long do children pray for their dead parents?”

     “Their whole lives.”

      “Is this the main reason it is so important to have children?” I asked.

     “No, it is also important to continue the family line. Those are the two main reasons,” he concluded.  We talked some more about Islam, and he told me it was clearly from God, because the Qu’ran had all the answers to any questions about life you might have.  His reasoning sounded remarkably similar to many Christian apologists I have heard defending Christianity.  In fact, I’ve noticed this many times when talking to the interpreters.  If you swapped the word “Christianity” for “Islam” and “Bible” for “Qu’ran,” you wouldn’t know the difference 95% of the time.

     Today I woke up expecting another lovely spring day and was instead greeted by a cold, gray day with the promise of rain.  Hamid and I went to do our rounds, and the drizzle started.  By lunch it had turned to snow, and this evening it is coming down pretty thickly.  Perhaps we’ll have a snow day tomorrow.      

     As we were walking, I asked Hamid about the woman he wanted to marry.  Had she gone to Russia yet? Was there any hope they could still get married? For all you romantics out there, yes, something may indeed be in the works.  I’ll keep you hanging in suspense for now, but stay tuned.  By the way, Hamid would like me to remind you all that he loves snicker doodles, the best cookie in the world!  Every day he comes in and checks my desk to see if any have arrived.

     I am fighting off a cold.  Last night I woke up at 3 AM, and barely got any sleep after that.  In the afternoon I tried to nap, but two phone calls and a mail delivery made sure I didn’t get much sleep.  I’m taking my Zicam and hoping for the best.  That’s all for tonight.  Now to update all these daily features. A final note; both e-mail accounts seem to be working today.

  - Bear

traversa@gimail.af.mil

douglas.traversa@arnold.af.mil

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Blog Watch

I’ve been linked to by a new blog called Afganistanica, which looks like it will be an interesting blog all about Afghanistan.  AWAC is one of ten blogs listed there, so I’m happy to return the favor.  Check it out:

http://afghanistanica.wordpress.com/

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Care Packages

     A box full of my favorite snacks and cookies from my sister Susan, along with a book of James Herriot dog stories.  Susan, the cookies are perfect, not dry as you thought.  Thanks. Hamid will undoubtedly gobble them all down if I let him.

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Millboggie Contest

     AWAC managed to keep pace with The Mudville Gazette, but could not make up ground.  The massive influx of British voters never transpired, and I think our only hope is that my kids can mobilize their college friends, or Rat’s radio broadcast later today can generate some serious voting.  Voting ends at 8 PM on 27 February.

Current Standings:

The Mudville Gazette - 44

Afghanistan Without a Clue - 32

OPFOR - 13

Duty in the Desert - 7

      

     To register and vote:

1.  Go to milblogging.com

2.  In the upper right corner is a “Sign In” box.  Click on the link that says “Not a Member? Register Now

3.  Fill out the information. An e-mail will be sent to your e-mail account.  Once you click on the link in the e-mail, your account will be activated

4.  Now go back and sign in

5.  After you are signed in, click on “Manage Favorites.”  It’s just below the sign in box.

6.  Go to “Search Milblogging.com’s Database.”  It’s in the upper left corner.  Type “Traversa”

7.  Click on “Afghanistan Without a Clue.”

8.  Scroll down to the “Actions” section.  Click on “Add to Favorites.”   

9.  Go back to the main page “milbogging.com” and go to “Milbloggie Voting is Now Open.” 

10.  Click on Air Force and vote for AWAC

11.  Rejoice in the knowledge that you have made us very happy! Thanks.

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The William Arkin Obscene Amenity of the Day (named for William Arkin, my favorite blogger filled with an almost pathological hatred for the very people who fight to protect his right to write).

     Major Steve Odum, fellow Kabulite and frequent contributor, supplies us with today’s hilarious, er I mean outrageous, amenities of the day. He sent us the famous Afghan waterbed post, which was actually picked up by several other blogs.  He is perilously close to being funnier than I am, so I’m probably going to have to add him to the staff before someone else steals him.  In fact, since he is also a dog lover (see below) he is clearly a cool dude deserving to share in all our wealth (1/3 of nothing is still nothing).  So, Major, consider yourself invited.  I’ll need a daily posting from you, as well as a spiffy nickname that goes well with Bear and Rat.  Anyhow, here’s Maj Odum:

     Glad to hear the waterbed got a little play.  I can't resist another obscene amenity.  This time we're going with the bath motif.  As we know military folks don't really need or deserve to take a shower on a regular basis.  If we'd wanted hot showers, we could have finished high school. With that in mind I have to blow the whistle on this excess.  I think the IG might be interested.

 

     Exhibit A.  While a plain white shower curtain would stop stray water drops in their tracks, the military has wasted taxpayer money on extra funding required to bring us a deluxe shower curtain with printed duckies.  The troops like it a lot, as you can see by the secret military hand signal for "cool" shown in the photograph, but Mr. Arkin has sparked my conscience and it's time to come clean (so to speak...)

 

     Exhibit B.  It gets worse, not far away is this criminal display of excess.  At least the frog in the middle is wearing what appears to be a "peace" symbol.  But alas, closer inspection reveals he is simply a disco frog who drives an S-Class.

 

     Exhibit C.  The final two exhibits are from my "safe" house, where things really get crazy.  Check out the detailed, hand-worked sculpting on the ceiling!

 

     Exhibit D.  An A1 troop should have no problem keeping his balance on this beautiful tile floor without a towel for drying his feet.  This is a genuine terry cloth(ish) floor towel just like the kind they use in all the finest hotels, but ours, as you can see, also doubles as a Rorschach test for self-diagnosing separation anxiety or PTSD.  I just thought it was time the public knew.

     The real irony (which I'm sure would be lost on Mr. Arkin) is that these things really are amenities for many of those serving out at remote and hostile FOBs.  I'm sure they would appreciate a hot shower with or without ducks.  Compared to them I am living the high life.

 

     And me with an Afghan dog that looks a lot like ISAF, since I know you dig canines.  I was volunteering to provide force protection (yes, they picked the AF guy with the 9mm...go figure) for a charity drop and this dog would run in front of me and flop on her back, literally begging to have her stomach scratched.  I finally gave in.

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Five Seconds of Fame:

I was mortified to learn I had forgotten to include Dana Schwartz on my list of winners from Saturday’s quote from The Little Shop of Horrors. In fact, she even included a photo of one of her plants, named Audrey III, which is disturbingly similar to the one in the movie.  Also, Bruno sent in a photo, but due to my e-mail being down, I could not get it until today.  No one even guessed on my quote from yesterday, so I’ll leave it up one more day, then claim my first shutout.

Bruno and his daughter Gabriel

Audrey III

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Quote of the Day:

Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence.
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Rates great; less killing (perhaps too obscure, think old lite beer commercial)

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And now to that famous radio celebrity, Rat:

Public Service Announcement:

     Most of the time spent in a war zone is a phenomenon commonly referred to as sheer boredom broken up by moments of sheer terror. You spend multitudes of time doing nothing when you are off work due to the dangers inherent to the locality.  I’m not saying that the Morale, Recreation and Welfare folks don’t do a good job trying to provide things to pass the time, because they do. I’m just saying that there is a lot of down time to yourself as well.

     Now there are many things you can do with this time…read a book, take online classes, write a letter home, wonder what your significant other may be doing, or even think about your potential death. You see where I’m going with this don’t you? The mind is a busy place and needs to have something to keep it occupied or it will turn on you and head in a direction you may fear to tread.

     I decided a few months back that I needed to find an outlet for the times when the battery in the clock has either died or is mysteriously operating at half strength. I’m not one to dwell on the negative; quite the opposite, I consider myself to be an optimist of the highest order. What I started to do was to cartoon on the walls of my B-hut. Really it was the new space age Air Force emblem first; this will most certainly alarm the Army folks who take occupation of my little piece of real estate when I rotate home. You see we are a small group of Air Force who are filling Army taskings and we live in and among our fellow “Army Strong” brothers and sisters. When we leave, our replacements will be housed in another location. Yet I digress.  I then started a campaign of placing a new cartoons on the wall at least once every couple of weeks.  I have been away down range, so I am a little behind considering the length of time I’ve been here.  However it keeps me busy and allows me to share something totally unrelated to this place with my roommates, and it brings about the light-hearted thoughts of our childhoods.  Not to mention if anything does happen to me, it will provide a ready-made memorial backdrop that will display two things:

     1. My lack of talent as a cartoonist.

     2. My love for life and the simple pleasures of childhood.

     I know you’re saying to yourself,  “But he said he didn’t think about the negative, and here he’s talking about being killed.”  That’s where I have you (insert maniacal laugh here), I didn’t focus on the death…instead I focused on the celebration of my life and the ease of which I would help the folks whose job it is to any type of ceremony they think fitting.

     My point is if you spend your down time looking for the negative, you will certainly find it. But if you choose to see the lighter side of life, and explore ways to highlight it, then you will be a lot healthier for it. Be creative and leave your mark on the world. Just do it with your own style and in a way others can enjoy it with you, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find you left the place better than you found it; and if you can poke a little fun at your sister service at the same time…priceless.

- Rat

Capt Doug Templeton, USAF
dtempleton14@yahoo.com

Comments

[Gloria & Matthew Gauthier]

Ok, I got to see the comment and it is Rimmer from Red Dwarf! Yeas, now it's not a shut out/ I guess you can give the fame to Matthew, he is the one that got me watching Red Dwarf..:)

[Matti]

"Look, sooner or later, we're gonna have to face the fact that we're not all gonna get out of this in one piece. Or if we are, it's gonna be one big flat piece." :-)

Red Dwarf, right? The thing is, I don't want five seconds of fame. Please donate it to someone who is less fortunate.

You have got to make Maj Odum a regular. Bribe him with as many obscene amenities as it takes. The man is hysterical.

Rat, I think your wall is awesome. But do you have Darkwing Duck? It will never be complete without him. I would leave my own mark here in my apartment, but full-scale marking will lose me my renter's deposit. :-)

[Teri Centner]

I got in on the tail end of voting. Sorry it took so long.

Also, I voted for the Marine and his dog. I figured you'd be a sucker for a blog that involved man's best friend. :)