My First (and Probably Last) Cigar

20 Dec

     Here’s a link to an article I wrote for the Camp Phoenix newspaper:

http://www.mil.state.or.us/newsletters/CJTF_Phoenix/Patriot/Issue6-Phoenix_Patriot.pdf

It’s at the top of page seven and concerns first aid training at CMA.  Not so exciting for most of you, but some may be interested.    

     Last night was another nutty, up-at-3, can’t-get-back-to-sleep night.  I’m still suffering from mild vertigo too.  I can walk just fine; I’m not crashing into things or falling down.  However, it is most annoying to have the room wobbling around.  I’m going to have to stay off airplanes once I get home.  Hopefully a decent night’s sleep will cure this.

     The day dawned cold and gray, with the thick clouds that promised snow.  However, Mother Nature was merely mocking me.  We made it through the day without even a flurry.  Perhaps tonight.

     Two nights ago we had a little celebration.  As I mentioned in that post, it was the midpoint of our tour.  It was also the night that all four of us in West Berlin were home again at the same time.  Doug and Mike had been out for many weeks doing stuff I won’t discuss.  (I will resist the urge to say “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”  It is a tired, old joke, devoid of humor. Rest assured, I will not mention it). So as everyone wanted to celebrate with a cigar, I agreed to give one a try.

     I have never smoked before, and only the fact that you don’t inhale when you smoke cigars induced me to give it a try.  So we all went out into the freezing night to have a smoke.  I successfully got it going, and waited for the magic of a good smoke.  I was to wait a long time.  I followed their directions, got a good mouthful of smoke, and exhaled. Over and over.  I asked what exactly I was supposed to be experiencing.  I did not detect any real flavor, just hot smoke on my tongue.   Doug told me it would relax me.

     I’m thinking that it would be better to smoke in a nice comfy chair, in a warm room, as opposed to standing around in the cold.  I will admit that when I was finished, I felt a little light-headed, but that could have been the vertigo.  What I did notice was that my mouth now tasted foul.  Large quantities of candy bars did nothing to dent the flavor of dirty socks in my mouth. (No, I’ve never tasted dirty socks. I am just assuming they taste like this).  Brushing my teeth and my tongue had no effect either. 

     So, frankly I’m baffled.  I don’t see the appeal.  So I asked Professor Apple.

     You smoke cigars for the taste,” he said.

     “But there was no taste,” I protested.

     “I wouldn’t expect a man who can’t appreciate “The Quiet Man (the John Wayne movie I panned a few weeks ago)” to appreciate a cigar,” he says condescendingly.

     Ahhh, abuse.  The comeback of a man with no actual reason to smoke.

     Speaking of Maj Apple, he’s going to be making some guest appearances in my blog.  Here’s a portion of a letter he wrote to family and friends to try to explain that our lives aren’t quite the same as what most of you see on the news coming out of Iraq each night.

    . . .I'd like to share with you some thoughts about my Christmas in Afghanistan, working to help the people of Afghanistan stand on their own feet.
     First, Afghans do not have the slightest inkling of what religious freedom is all about. Daily, I have to explain what it is. "So", an Afghan says, "how does your government teach you how to pray?" I say, "Um, they don't, most of us learn from our parents." "But they pray what the government says to pray for, right?" "Nope." "Really?" "Really!" Imagine if you will, that when each of us bows our head and speaks to our Lord in our own way, that we may be breaking the law, risking imprisonment, forfeiture of our property, and possibly even death! The Afghans have not known anything else for a generation. They look at me like I have three eyeballs, when I say that each person in our country has the right to worship, whenever, wherever, and to whoever they want. "If I came to your country, would I have to become a Christian?" I tell them, "Nope, if you want to come to my church, you're welcome, if you'd like to pray in a Mosque, I'll help you find one." They look in my eyes with a sense of wonder, and a little doubt. "Don't all Christians hate Muslims?" "Nope." I say, "Aren't we all sons of Abraham, and we pray to a merciful and loving God?" Again, they look at me strange. "You believe that we are brothers?" "Yup, don't you?" "But of course we do!"
     While we may not completely understand each other's religion, the average Afghan I've spoken to has so many similarities to us, its uncanny! They are devout, love their family, friends, and country. When I ask a young Soldier in the Afgan National Army, "Why are you here?" Invariably the answer is, "To serve my country, to keep it safe and secure." Does that sound familiar to anyone? I think if you asked the average Soldier in our military the same question, you'd get the same answer. Are they backward? Yes. Are they uneducated? Yes, many are. Are they people dedicated to freedom and liberty? Absolutely, the vast majority are. When you take them one on one, they're no different than you and I. They want an education for their children, a steady job, a home, and the freedom to move about their country. Right now they don't have that, but it's getting better.
     Here's another concept that's completely alien to the average Afghan. I say this to them at least once a day. "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, and among these are, Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." We (Americans) don't care who your father is, where you went to school, or how much money you have. You are equal in the eyes of our law. You decide who you want to be. You decide where you want to live. You decide how you wish to worship. No one can take that away! We judge you by what you do, not by who you are. Didn't our Lord tell us, "I'll know you by your works?" (They have the same thing in their Koran) When I say these things, they look me in the eye with this look of hope that makes me want to cry.
     Since I work with the Afghan Military, we speak of the duties and responsibilities of a service member. I talk to them about the Oath of Office that every Officer takes. It surprises them that I don't swear allegiance to a person. I swear allegiance to an idea. That all men are free. An Officer doesn't swear to obey anyone, but we do swear "to support and defend the Constitution, and bear true faith and allegiance to the same." A completely new idea to them, but I explain that this is how we've lasted 200+ years. We're all equal, and we're all one big nation. E Pluribus Unum....Out of Many, One! When we stand together, no one can stand against us. Again, they look at me with hope in their eyes.
     I've rambled for a bit, but I've taken you down that road to take you down this one:
    I'm having as Merry a Christmas as I've ever had! Of course I miss friends and loved ones. Of course a turkey fresh out of the oven is better than processed turkey roll. But, my Afghan friends are throwing a Christmas feast for us! Can you believe it? A group of Muslims want to help us celebrate the birth of our Savior! Why? Because we're away from home, they know it's important to us, and they're grateful for what the people of the United States are doing for them. For the first time in generations (yes, generations!) the people of Afghanistan have a chance at freedom! A chance to determine what is right and wrong for themselves! If it is far better to give than receive, then I'm blessed ten-fold by the opportunity you, the people of the US, have given me. A chance to give one of the greatest Christmas gifts any man has to give. Liberty, Justice, and Freedom for All!

     And, yes, It’s been a great day, wobbly rooms and all.

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Comments

[Leta]

Thanks for sharing this. Also thanks for Maj Apple's insight.

Glad you made it back safely. I look forward to hearing more about Afghanistan from you.

Sending you an email with a Christmas story you may (or may not) find interesting.

Stay safe and keep up the GREAT work you guys are doing!